Don't shut up Kanny
by Scetchbook123
Summary: He has had enough. Kankri has given up. Far too much. When he resorts to punishing himself with a needle Cronus finds him and tries to change his mind.


You are Kankri Vantas and you feel so lost and broken it's pitiful

You stare at the mirror. Tears wanting to come out of your dead eyes. You refrain from crying as you normally do. You indeed are depressed. You have been for a while. If anyone bothered to ask they would know that.

You have always liked to speak. But it reached a point where it was a shield Soon it turned into an alarm.

No one would listen. So you spoke more. They had no choice. But they hated you for it.

You know they hate you and your words. It kills you. You worry so much about them and only want them to be happy. So you ask. You always ask and are careful to not hurt their feelings in any way.

You try and it never works.

You now examine you're throat by pulling down the turtle neck portion of your sweater. Just because you are dead doesn't mean you can't scar. This sweater became very useful in that matter since it even matches your blood color.

They don't understand at all. No one does. You have tried to slit your throat so many times so many different ways. And no matter what you always put on a normal face and go back outside. Pretend you are ok and just ask if they are doing alright.

You are tired of doing this to yourself. And they want you to be quiet right? Time to be quiet.

You grasp the needle in your hand and raise it to your mouth. Terrified You have done worse.

This can't be that bad. You begin sewing your mouth shut. A few tears leak out in pain.

Soon enough you do not have the ability to speak anymore. The deed is done.

You put away the scissors and thread, then wash the blood off of your face. In that moment fear strikes into you. There is a knock at the door. You haven't adjusted yet and may not be able to face anyone yet. This is NOT good at all.

Clearly you can't tell whoever it is to go away..

You open the door carefully and try to keep your face hidden. "Chief?" Cronus asks. Shit.

"Mhm?" You choke out the sound. "What's wrong?" He asks. You can hear real concern in his tone. Sure. NOW someone cares. You don't make a sound and step aside.

He enters the house and lifts your chin. "Why aren't you ta-...Kankri what did you do..." He asks.

You close your eyes tight, trying to keep from crying.

Before you know it he is hugging you and the tears have already escaped you. "I'm so sorry Kanny I'm so sorry." His voice shakes. You want to tell him why and that it wasn't his fault. But you simply can't anymore. He was like the others in most aspects but unlike them, he didn't insult you. Not in the same way at least. You knew he might care if he bothered to ask or look at your neck. But that wasn't going to happen. "Kanny please say something.." He says softly. You just pat his shoulders.

This is not at all what you wanted to happen. You point to a notepad you keep around the house.

He quickly grabs it and brings it to you along with a pen. You start writing. _"Please understand I did not mean to offend anyone with this. I hope it is not triggering to you."_ You hand him the pad to read.

"Are you seriously worrying about that right now?! Why would you do this to yourself?" He asks.

"_I know what all is said about me Cronus. I am a bother and an insufferable pain. Don't lie about that. If I am so terrible when I speak I shall not speak anymore."_ He reads it and stares at you.

You can see hurt in his eyes just as well as he can see it in yours. You take the pad back to continue.

"_I do care about what offends others but I get offended just as much as anyone else. If I do not speak as much as I do then I am not noticed. This will eventually fade and as will I with my silence. But that's fine. I truly am fine with it so long as I am not a problem to others anymore."_ That is all there is to say. You don't want to write anything else. It's fine to end it right there. As he reads it you feel tears rising yet again when you see the look on his face get worse and worse.

It pains you to see him this way when your goal was to not cause anymore problems.

He drops the pad. Looks at you. And hugs you. No. He _clings_ to you. You don't have time to hug him even a little because he holds your shoulders and presses away just enough to stare into your eyes.

Filling you with guilt when you see the purple tears building in his eyes.

"You were _never_ a bother. Not to me." He says. It's clear he can see the disbelief on your face when he continues. "You were great when you spoke. You made this face when you got on a roll that showed how much you cared about what you were saying. And it was the cutest fuckin face I have ever seen. I love hearing you talk chief. I love it..." He says. It is the most heartfelt thing you think you could ever hear. As it all strikes a chord with you a realization slams into your skull when you suddenly feel his lips pressed against yours. It only lasts a second. But in that second you feel all the regret you could feel pounding in your head, the want to be able to kiss him back. It hits you like a ton of bricks. What have you done. You can't tell him how you feel... You can't anymore.

A muffled sound escapes you, no longer to hold in the tears you bite your tongue.

"Kan?" He asks, the sound you made surprising to him. More muffled sounds as the tears begin to flow. "Oh man, I'm sorry Kan I didn't mean to make you cry." He flounders with his words, not understanding he didn't do anything wrong. And you can't even explain that to him!

This is horrible!

He tucks some hair out of your face and pets you, keeping you close to him. This is just impossible. You want to talk to him and explain to him and confess to him. You completely ignore every thought that ever made you think this was a good idea. It doesn't even matter. None of it does.

You make sure he can see when you point to the stitches that now cover your mouth.

"What is it?" He asks, his voice soft and troubled. You do your best to explain with jumbled hand gestures. "You.. Do you want them off?" He asks, hope rises in his tone.

You nod, glad he got the picture considering how hard it must have been to read what you were trying to say. He pulls a pocket knife out of his pocket and very carefully works with the strings until cutting through them all. Only problem is having to then remove the sliced threads from your lips.

You flinch with every one but soon you are free. You smile at him and he looks to relieved it isn't even funny. "Thank you Cronus." You say in a quick and airy way. You practically fall onto him with your arms around his neck, you press your lips against his. Forget those vows of yours that had held you back from flushing. Forget them all because you can't imagine being without him for a second longer.

His arms wrap around you warmly, filling your gut with butterflies.

He lays back with you still against his chest. You disconnect your mouths and look at his milky white eyes. They are so beautiful. You see the questioning look on his face, the only response you have is nuzzling the nape of his neck. His hold on you softens and he kisses the top of your head.

A smile forms on your face as your cuddle close to him, soon drifting into a calm rest.


End file.
